Not So Much a Hood

Warning: this review contains plot spoilers for the movie Robin Hood.

Nothing in a story should ever be a surprise.

That's not to say a story should lack suspense or tension. One without is no good. That is to say, however, that every piece of a story should fit together, make sense; no one piece should feel out of place.

This is where Russell Crowe's newest film falls down. Robin Hood seems to be out of sync not only with the legend that provides a basis for the movie, but also with its own narration.

In the opening scenes, we get historical context for the movie to come: Richard the Lionheart, Crusades, killing heathens (or an acceptable substitute, the French). We are also told that this is a time of outlaws, which brings us to the introduction of Robin Longstride (Crowe).

Robin returns from killing heathen-substitute on the European Continent and passes himself off as a nobleman from England's north. It's a pretty sweet deal because he gets a pile of land and the inside track on the local beauty, Maid Marian (Cate Blanchett).

As always, though, politics ruins our hero's good time. The newly-crowned King John sends his men to bleed the English nobility of their wealth and Robin looks set to lead a rebellion. Ah, here comes the outlaw part.

Not so fast. The King learns that one of his confidants, Sir Godfrey (Mark Strong), has been plotting with the French to invade England. John recruits Robin and the northmen in the nick of time and sets up a fantastic battle to repel the French just as they're landing troops on the south coast.

Wait, what? Robin Hood fighting for King John? Where did the French come from? And where is Robin the outlaw, the Hood?

I have no problem with changes to the details of a story that make for a better movie, but the French invasion here serves as the main plot and shoves Robin the Hood into a narrow five minutes at the end of the picture - King John, it turns out, doesn't like competition.

The result? Rather a confusing tale where Russell Crowe ends up being more a conventional action hero than the outlaw antihero that his own movie tells us he should be.

Robin was not so much a hood, which was a surprise to me.